Confessions of a shopaholic PART 3

Salaams my love, I know I haven't been consistent with the fashion post, Last minute wedding prep is really consuming my time mashaAllah, InshaAllah all is well and will continue to flow beautifully. Allah is merciful LETS never forget. Okay okay back to the post YES I am obessessed with FLORAL hijabs right now! I have alot of really OUT THERE hijabs but this is my favourite for now...

Shall we move forward and heal...

"Hate no one, no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Live humbly, no matter how wealthy you become. Think positively, no matter how hard life is. Give much, even if you’ve been given little. Keep in touch with the ones who have forgotten you, and forgive who has wronged you."

Useful Tips For Newly Married Couples

It becomes very essential for newly married couples to keep the romance alive in their relationship. The changes that take place after marriage can sometimes lead to problems if not handled with care.

Marriage is the beginning of a new life and a new relation altogether. It’s not always a bed of roses as it seems to be. For the starters you will have to go through a lot of adjustments and compromises along with getting unconditional love from your spouse.

To keep the relationship alive and full of romanticism some tips can work wonders for you!

 The strongest bond can be created through romance. A candle light dinner or a romantic getaway will definitely help all you newly married couples out there!

 Keep a balanced sense of humor that will help you come out of any kind of lugubrious situation and lighten up your partner’s mood. Have a positive outlook towards all kinds of situation and you’ll win half the race.

 Respect for each other as well as for the relationship is very significant. Admiring your spouse’s actions is very important and lack of which acts like slow poison affecting your relation and killing it softly.

 Try and give some space to your better half. Let the air come into your relationship that will help it flourish and grow stronger.

 Authority and power are two things that generally come in between many relationships especially among newly weds. Don’t behave like opponents and share the joy of companionship. Just let go some things that you don’t like about your partner.

 Honesty is the best policy is any kind of relationship and so it is for newly married couples. Do not run away from your problems, instead face them. Ignoring them will only lead to serious issues in the relationship.

 Create equilibrium between receiving and giving love. Make sure its not just one sided whether it’s give or take.

 Keep your marriage related issues and problems to yourself. Don’t involve any third party and don’t give others a chance to speak between your relationships. Be it anyone your sister, your mother in law or friends, they should be engrossed in any situation.

 Sexual satisfaction plays a key role in making or breaking any new relationship. Sexual intensity decides the strength of a relation that couples share. Talk freely about your sexual needs and desires with your spouse.

 It takes a lot of time to change the daily habits and it will differ from that of your significant other. Take out time and understand the habits of your partner and give them time to adjust to your own.

 Early marriages can create problems in many cases where both the spouses are immature to handle the relation. In such cases marriage counseling can help you a long way. 

Success in marriage hinges on consistent performance of six key habits.

HABIT #1 - GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal -- which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, "Is what I'm about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?"

To monitor how you're doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!

HABIT #2 - CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following "greeting ritual" at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, "Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!"

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a "date night" at least every other week.

HABIT #3 - CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It's common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

HABIT #4 - USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the "listener-speaker technique." The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.

Here's how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully "heard," do you then proceed to problem solving.

HABIT #5 - CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear -- or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away."

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other.

Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.

Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, learning Torah together, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect -- by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it's a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who "turn away" from each other don't develop closeness. It's a basic principle stated in the Talmud, "A good deed begets another good deed. A bad deed begets another bad deed."

HABIT #6 - INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: "After you're married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?" And I usually follow-up by saying, "And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?"

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.

Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose. This is why couples who observe Shabbat together, and learn Torah together, have great sources of meaning built into their lives.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are visiting the sick together, making a shiva call together, or preparing a meal together for a mother who just gave birth.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

My confessions of a shopaholic PART 2!

I LOVE POKA DOTS...And I've been dying to wear it, LITERALLY! So when I found it in HNM, I paired it WITH  a white blazer I received as a gift and a black maxi dress. Poka DOTS always remind me of pearls so I wore small pearls on my write and a BIG white ring! No necklace ( It would've been too much). Black heels that have  little gold bows in front to match the gold button on my blazer! My small black Aldo bag with some gold detail and that was it ladies. Great night, Lovely company and inshaAllah only more good things to come! Enjoy

My confessions of a shopaholic PART1

I am known as the animal print QUEEN! It has become my signiture and heres why... I own all this in animal print

1) 7 DIFFERENT kinds of hijab (ANIMAL PRINTS OF COURSE lol)
2) Heels, flat open toes and some gorjeous sandals i got for my bday
3) A blazer
4) Jumpsuit
5) A shirt, A vest top and a long sleeved short dress that us hijabs wear with jeans lol
7) MY CLUTCH bag (YES i love this the most)
8) so much jewellry mashaAllah
9) a FUR coat
10) a maxi

WHAT'S IN YOUR CLOSET?

Let your soul define the outfit...