Confessions of a shopaholic PART 3

Salaams my love, I know I haven't been consistent with the fashion post, Last minute wedding prep is really consuming my time mashaAllah, InshaAllah all is well and will continue to flow beautifully. Allah is merciful LETS never forget. Okay okay back to the post YES I am obessessed with FLORAL hijabs right now! I have alot of really OUT THERE hijabs but this is my favourite for now...

Shall we move forward and heal...

"Hate no one, no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Live humbly, no matter how wealthy you become. Think positively, no matter how hard life is. Give much, even if you’ve been given little. Keep in touch with the ones who have forgotten you, and forgive who has wronged you."

Useful Tips For Newly Married Couples

It becomes very essential for newly married couples to keep the romance alive in their relationship. The changes that take place after marriage can sometimes lead to problems if not handled with care.

Marriage is the beginning of a new life and a new relation altogether. It’s not always a bed of roses as it seems to be. For the starters you will have to go through a lot of adjustments and compromises along with getting unconditional love from your spouse.

To keep the relationship alive and full of romanticism some tips can work wonders for you!

 The strongest bond can be created through romance. A candle light dinner or a romantic getaway will definitely help all you newly married couples out there!

 Keep a balanced sense of humor that will help you come out of any kind of lugubrious situation and lighten up your partner’s mood. Have a positive outlook towards all kinds of situation and you’ll win half the race.

 Respect for each other as well as for the relationship is very significant. Admiring your spouse’s actions is very important and lack of which acts like slow poison affecting your relation and killing it softly.

 Try and give some space to your better half. Let the air come into your relationship that will help it flourish and grow stronger.

 Authority and power are two things that generally come in between many relationships especially among newly weds. Don’t behave like opponents and share the joy of companionship. Just let go some things that you don’t like about your partner.

 Honesty is the best policy is any kind of relationship and so it is for newly married couples. Do not run away from your problems, instead face them. Ignoring them will only lead to serious issues in the relationship.

 Create equilibrium between receiving and giving love. Make sure its not just one sided whether it’s give or take.

 Keep your marriage related issues and problems to yourself. Don’t involve any third party and don’t give others a chance to speak between your relationships. Be it anyone your sister, your mother in law or friends, they should be engrossed in any situation.

 Sexual satisfaction plays a key role in making or breaking any new relationship. Sexual intensity decides the strength of a relation that couples share. Talk freely about your sexual needs and desires with your spouse.

 It takes a lot of time to change the daily habits and it will differ from that of your significant other. Take out time and understand the habits of your partner and give them time to adjust to your own.

 Early marriages can create problems in many cases where both the spouses are immature to handle the relation. In such cases marriage counseling can help you a long way. 

Success in marriage hinges on consistent performance of six key habits.

HABIT #1 - GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Happily married couples are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. You must stay focused on the ultimate goal -- which is to give each other pleasure and not cause pain. It sounds simple enough, but can be very hard in practice.

For just one day, try to maintain a consciousness with everything you do, by asking yourself, "Is what I'm about to do or say going to cause my spouse pain or pleasure?"

To monitor how you're doing, each of you should make two lists: One for all the things your spouse does to cause you pain, and another which identifies what you would like your spouse to do to give you pleasure. Swap lists, and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do. No more mind reading!

HABIT #2 - CREATE MUTUALLY SATISFYING LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS

Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. One couple had the following "greeting ritual" at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, "Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!"

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

How are your greeting and goodbye rituals?

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

Our actions affect the way we feel. How are your greeting and good-bye rituals?

Here are some rituals you and your spouse should consider working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* It is essential to have a "date night" at least every other week.

HABIT #3 - CREATE A SAFE PLACE TO DISCUSS ISSUES OPENLY AND HONESTLY

Abusive relationships are ones in which you are afraid to express feelings and opinions. Happily married couples create a sense of safety that allows each person to feel comfortable expressing his/her feelings, problems, and dissatisfactions. This sense of safety is the foundation upon which a couple negotiates things that are bothering them.

It's common for each person to come into a relationship with certain expectations about how things will be. But without the ability to communicate and negotiate, these issues become sources for power struggles that almost always damage the relationship.

HABIT #4 - USE GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS TO RESOLVE HOT ISSUES

The technique that every couple must learn is called the "listener-speaker technique." The problem with the way most couples argue is that they try to find solutions before fully giving each other the chance to say what they need to say. The speaker-listener technique ensures that before you can engage in solution talk, each person feels they have been fully heard.

Only after each person has been fully heard, do you proceed to problem solving.

Here's how it works: One person holds an object in their hand which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. While one person has the floor, the other person can only listen by repeating back or paraphrasing what the other person said. The listener can stop the speaker if s/he is saying too much for the listener to repeat back.

When couples use this technique, it automatically ensures that each person will be able to say everything s/he needs to say without interruption, rebuttals, criticism or attack. Only after each person has been fully "heard," do you then proceed to problem solving.

HABIT #5 - CONSTANTLY TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER, RATHER THAN AWAY

When you pass your spouse sitting at her desk doing some work, do you stop and rub her shoulders, give her a kiss on the cheek, and whisper something nice in her ear -- or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away."

Happily married couples have ways to constantly be emotionally close to each other.

Marriage research shows that happily married couples do a lot of turning toward each other whenever they get the chance. They look for ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority.

Another important aspect of turning toward each other is doing things together that you both enjoy. Taking walks together, drinking coffee together after dinner, learning Torah together, and listening to music together, are all examples of how couples turn toward each other.

A powerful way to turn toward each other is to show the ultimate respect -- by standing when your spouse enters the room. Sounds old-fashioned? It is. But it's a powerful way to turn toward your spouse, make him/her feel very special.

Couples who "turn away" from each other don't develop closeness. It's a basic principle stated in the Talmud, "A good deed begets another good deed. A bad deed begets another bad deed."

HABIT #6 - INFUSE YOUR LIVES WITH SHARED MEANING

I often ask singles the following question: "After you're married, what do you plan to do for the next 40 years?" And I usually follow-up by saying, "And besides having fun, what else will you do with each other?"

The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life purpose.

Human beings need meaning like we need water. Happily married couples enrich their relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose. This is why couples who observe Shabbat together, and learn Torah together, have great sources of meaning built into their lives.

Some other specific ways of infusing your relationship with meaning are visiting the sick together, making a shiva call together, or preparing a meal together for a mother who just gave birth.

When couples share truly meaningful experiences, they bond on a deeper level.

These six habits may seem small, but when practiced intentionally and consistently, they will form the backbone of a deeply fulfilling marriage.

My confessions of a shopaholic PART 2!

I LOVE POKA DOTS...And I've been dying to wear it, LITERALLY! So when I found it in HNM, I paired it WITH  a white blazer I received as a gift and a black maxi dress. Poka DOTS always remind me of pearls so I wore small pearls on my write and a BIG white ring! No necklace ( It would've been too much). Black heels that have  little gold bows in front to match the gold button on my blazer! My small black Aldo bag with some gold detail and that was it ladies. Great night, Lovely company and inshaAllah only more good things to come! Enjoy

My confessions of a shopaholic PART1

I am known as the animal print QUEEN! It has become my signiture and heres why... I own all this in animal print

1) 7 DIFFERENT kinds of hijab (ANIMAL PRINTS OF COURSE lol)
2) Heels, flat open toes and some gorjeous sandals i got for my bday
3) A blazer
4) Jumpsuit
5) A shirt, A vest top and a long sleeved short dress that us hijabs wear with jeans lol
7) MY CLUTCH bag (YES i love this the most)
8) so much jewellry mashaAllah
9) a FUR coat
10) a maxi

WHAT'S IN YOUR CLOSET?

Let your soul define the outfit...

The FORGOTTEN Genocide.

“A girl should be two things: Classy and Fabulous.” --Coco Chanel

“A girl should be two things: Classy and Fabulous.” --Coco Chanel

 

"A Muslim who plants a tree or sows a field, from which man and animals can eat, is committing an act of charity." #islam

Desires and calamities

Desires and calamities

A Sahih hadith reported by At-Tirmidhi narrates on the authority of Abu Hurairah (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said: "When Allah created Paradise, He sent Jibreel to it and said, 'Look at it and the pleasures I have prepared for its inhabitants.' So Jibreel came to Paradise and looked at what Allah had prepared for its inhabitants. He then returned to Allah and said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that not a single person will hear of it except that he will enter it (i.e he will do anything to enter it).' Then Allah ordered Paradise to be surrounded by adversities, calamities and detestable things and He said to Jibreel, 'Go back and look at it and what I have prepared for its inhabitants.' Jibreel went back to Paradise and found that it had been surrounded by adversities, calamities and detestable things, so he returned to Allah and said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that I fear that no one will enter it (i.e he will do anything to avoid it).'

Then Allah said to Jibreel, 'Go to Hell and look at it and the punishments that I have prepared for its inhabitants.' Jibreel looked at Hell and found it extremely horrible, so he said to Allah, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that not a single person will hear of it except that he will avoid entering it.' Then Allah ordered Hell to be surrounded by desires and luxuries and said to Jibreel, 'Go back to it.' Jibreel returned to Hell and then said, 'I swear by Your Grandeur that no one will be able to escape from it.'"

An indicator of whether your life is leading you towards Paradise or Hell is to consider the circumstances of your life. If you are worshipping Allah and your life is full of hardships and detestable things, then this is a positive sign. What are the things that a person detests in life? Fear, hunger, poverty, thirst, lack of security, lack of shelter, imprisonment, bereavement, being estranged from loved ones, loneliness, uncertainty, etc., etc., to name but a few. Yet these are also some of the things that Paradise is surrounded by; these are the things that indicate whether or not a believer is on the path to Paradise.

Then consider, what are the things that a person desires or loves in life? Wealth, children, spacious dwelling, safety, security, plentiful food and drink, expensive clothing, being with loved ones, etc., etc., to name but a few. Yet these are also some of the things that Hell is surrounded by; these are the things that indicate to a believer whether or not he is going towards his eternal destruction.

For this reason, many of the wealthy Sahabah used to weep uncontrollably whilst repeating the verse in Surah Al-Ahqaf (46:20): "And the Day, those who disbelieved are exposed to the Fire, it will be said, 'You exhausted your pleasures during your worldly life and enjoyed them, so this Day you will be awarded the punishment of extreme humiliation because you were arrogant upon the earth without right and because you were defiantly disobedient.'" Umar bin Al-Khattab, Abdur-Rahman bin Awf and others, may Allah be pleased with them all, would frequently mention this verse, when they even experienced pleasures as small as a wholesome meal.

Following your desires leads to the Hell Fire. That is why many of the Pious Predecessors used to say, "If you want to obey Allah, disobey your nafs (soul, desires, etc)." Likewise, it is reported in a poem from Imam Ash-Shafi (Abdullah bin Al-Mubarak is also said to have mentioned it): "The best thing for your nafs (soul) is to disobey it." Therefore, if you want to obey Allah, consult your heart and do the opposite of what your soul orders you to do. If your soul orders you to sleep instead of praying, get up and pray. If your soul orders you to only spend out of your unwanted possessions, then spend out of the things you love most, for Allah says in Surah Ale-Imran (3:92): "Never shall you attain true piety unless you spend from that which you love." If your soul orders you to pray at home, go and pray in the masjid. If your soul orders you to relax at home instead of visiting your sick, fellow Muslim, get up and go visit your sick, fellow Muslim for you will find Allah with him.

Therefore, consider your life and be your own judge. If Allah is pouring upon you luxury upon luxury, wealth upon wealth, comfort upon comfort, then that is a sign that something is wrong and it is something to worry about. Moreover, if this is happening whilst you are disobedient to Allah or neglectful of His Commands, then it is a sign of your imminent destruction. Luxuries and comforts make a person forget Allah and become heedless in their duties.

On the other hand, if you are trying your best to worship Allah and be mindful of His Commands, and yet your life is fraught with adversities, hardships and detestable things, then rejoice for this is a good indication that you are on the path to Paradise. Adversities and hardships make a believer remember Allah more and turn to Him with sincerity. A well-known saying says: "Hardship is as beneficial to the soul as it is unwelcome in life. And comfort is as harmful to the soul as it is welcome in life."

So O prisoner in the Path of Allah, do not be sad when you are given miserable food, when you are given ragged clothes, when you are estranged from your family and loved ones and when you see others surpass you in wealth and children. Rather, rejoice and be happy as these are all signs that you are on the path towards Paradise, which is surrounded by so many detestable things that even the Angel Jibreel feared no one would be able to enter it because of these adversities. 

The 13th Century scholar Al-Izz bin Abdus-Salam said, "The state of tribulation and affliction drives man closer to Almighty Allah, whereas the state of health and blessing drives him away from Allah, as He says in the Quran, 'And when harm touches man, he invokes Us, lying down on his side, or sitting or standing. But when We have removed his harm from him, he passes on his way as if he has never invoked Us for a harm that touched him!...' (Quran 10:12)"

Hasan Al-Basri said, "Do not detest the misfortunes that befall you, for what you detest may be the cause of your salvation and what you like may be the cause of your ruin."

Finally, Ali bin Abi Talib is reported to have said, may Allah be pleased with him, "O son of Adam, do not be happy with richness and do not despair of poverty. Do not feel sad during affliction and do not rejoice over prosperity, for just as gold is tried by fire, the pious are tried by affliction. You will not attain what you want except by giving up what you desire, and you will not attain what you aspire to except by enduring patiently what you hate, and exerting yourself in implementing that which has been made compulsory upon you (by Allah)."

http://www.lutonmuslims.co.uk

"Whoever guides [another] to a good deed will get a reward similar to the one who performs it." Prophet Mohammad (PBUH)[Sahih Muslim]
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No longer a Virgin to the mic

Scraps123

Autumn was ours...still is...

The brisk winds weathered gentle screams in the haze of ruthless shades
And we swept in with foreign verses that drenched them to a mute
Threading our dominion to the quakes of autumn,
I watched my outlines bind into your being
Your buzz penetrated us to ascend from galaxies
As you left me plagued with jitters that descended into the soles of winters bruised blue and I smelt the divine realms of our kingdom…
The odour whiffed through your senses as your expressions curved into seasons
Our angels have flown
I saw them wave as they passed seagulls and faded into seizing colours
Earthly dyes detained us like the hushed screams of the squally weather
Into nothing but natures serene gape
My lips forever ached to bathe your pitch into stillness
We orchestrated in the core of the universe
And you melted into the empathy of my motion
And still music has yet to leave our mornings

The vigorous moonlight captured the leaves from the fallen trees
and marvelled them to our own festive shadow and I was instantly hounded to cease rainbows in that auburn coast we fell in love with.
Maybe we exposed our inner streams to early,
because after that insistent flush your eyes watered my pupils at every serenade set.
the notes played on my pacific lanes of crimson hues
As I crossed the midnight mile to arc colours inside your fever, you swelled endless blessings that poured down like raindrops with the chocolate crisp savour
And still music has yet to leave our mornings.

We birthed more angelic wings
That flew into the winds that smeared tints of saintly whispers
Heard as mortal feelings needle on earths dust
Rippling into our zest to flourish
And becoming stringed to forever and a little longer
Eternal in mother tongues that neither of us knew would splash our lovemaking on higher ranks of touching, tasting and purely enjoying this…
Through all seasons our prophecy hissed…
Music was never meant to leave our mornings

Heed and navigate us through brisk winds that stripped the rainbow of its auburn colours. Stroking my autumn crumble. Battering the screams into our pious silence.

My 3 FAV hijabi looks for the Summer

I now live by this...plucker you lips world you must be awaiting a kiss

One regret dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.

- Hafiz of Persia

Why do women cry so easily?

"Ya Shaikh! Why do women cry so easily?"

He answered: "When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children. He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts is wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers."

"You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Remember our short visits?

*********************************

Time paused for the longest hour, the second my eyes kissed your sight

I let go of fear and we continued to stare passed our pupils…

Deep into the roots of my palm I found a destination to humble myself into loving again…

With my laughter I stopped you from falling with nothing but a long breath, I've been told it's through the wonders of my lord, now I understand why they say I'm blessed.

We ushered our pride into unbounded silence as daydreams came to take us to our planets…they separated fitting hearts but our eyes were windows in seeing each other …just like the first second we held a gaze.

While swimming in a lake of abandoned hearts I sank to the bottom to only pick up lines of poetry so I could cleanse in them, I hold thoughts of when I may write love into my bed sheets and then I froze…

As we climb back into earth your seeking touch perfects my flaws now I'm radiant with beauty…finally worthy of the flattering praise.

As I glance at time my heart aches as this is a short visit before we return home…to our unlike planets…to our different forms.

I still have flashbacks of when I found comfort in tree backs surrounded in heavy puddles of rain…subhanallah

I fell silent into words that made breathing wonderful, loving the only thing I knew…

And here we are once again on our short visit and I have no need to reach for my pen.

Sunday came… we correlated in thunder waves as you tasted the fresh strawberries off my lips…remember?

…I'll never forget

Gambled seats of high status just so we could pause a moment to walk alongside each other without words said…unlived moments by any other…

Instrumented seashells clutter as you walk through them to reach yesterday

… In mirrors harmonized by the piano I stay licensed to wait till you stand on the steps of today, with me...

As I bathed I sipped in juices of bitter times and hints of smiles…obviously we had just began on the street of painted love…at the end of the road laid a portrait of us ....

A serenade dedicated in the balance of unlike planets with different forms heading home after a short visit.

******************************

Paradise lies beneath her feet...

Kiss her feet, before you weep the last droplets of life. 

Every sector of her structure was shaped without apology

Ya Allah you ravelled perfection

Her breath left many breathless including me

Sweetest voice to be found so far apart from the heavens

She was unexplainable

She still is…

Her love is gravitational

Beautiful in ever starlight flaw

Her sour corners still leave eternity wanting her inside its claws

I watched her conceive souls

Leaving them endless and aching for more…

I'm aching…

I hope you ache for her once in this lifetime too

In her 5 feet length she's powerful,

Singular

And I prayed she'd remain mine a little longer

Praise thee above that I swelled her belly and gave her a glorious roar

Yes her first born

With the heart as deep as mountains and moist like the crystal rain she adores

I'm in love with her like cuddles and smooches

Missing that sneering bond

We use to be beginners in this journey

Now pros

That brings more than smiles to my soul

If I could cut it open just so you'd hear its giggles, i woud've bleed 18 years ago... 

But I'll leave you with this note although it's truly never-ending

Your structure was shaped without apology

Beautiful in every starlight flaw

You're my moments

And I your first born 

Yours truly